As seen on Dlisted

Oh my.. what?! I can only imagine....

[& btw, if you can't tell what those are, ....they're flies.]

Ponder

I move for tomorrow. I get up for today. I hope for the future. Reflect on the past. I question the truth. And worry for the unknown. I smile 'cause I can. Cry when I need to. I dance how it moves me. I look like my 'father', and sing like my mom. What makes me, me? And you, you? In any given moment I could stop being me & be a lot more like you. I could be artsy; despite my lack of artistic ability. I could be an astronaut. I could be quiet. I could be loud. I could be this country's first female president. I could be anything I can imagine. I could fight. Or I could give in. I could be a lot more like you..

..or for now, I could be me.



Just me.



Just Kim.

L is for the way you look at me..

After a near completion of book 4 (of the Twilight saga) I've found myself absolutely HATING mushy, gushy love. Nothing says "vomit" like reading about how Bella "truly cannot stand being away from him for such long periods of time". For some, this may come off as "real love" or to say the least, "extreme devotion" but to me it just says "pathetic". What does love mean if you NEED the person in order to exist? If every waking moment spent away from this significant other leads to your own demise? How can anyone be so enthralled with the other person that all other cares just fly out the window? I guess, to me, love has (recently) meant something much different. I have gone down the road of giving everything I am to be everything THEY want & need. I've risked my friends, my family, my academics, my passions and my happiness for "love". And at the time, I was completely fine with it. Better, or so I thought. I had something most people longed for: somebody else. But that somebody didn't care about my happiness, my friends, my family, my passions. I didn't mind. I saw my other relationships dying and dying fast and I kept on living. Each day I would lose a part of me and think to myself that that is just what love is: sacrifice. And I was brainwashed enough to believe that we were BOTH sacrificing. Sad thing was, I was still happy. I had no friends. I had no fun. When I cried, he comforted me, even though the whole thing was his fault. His dreams were my dreams & I was not allowed to question them....

Maybe that changed me. Maybe that made me hate even the idea of love. To see it as something that would always be exactly the way I once experienced it, even though I know so much better. I can't stand imagining myself walking down that road again. I refuse to.

I'm doing things a different way. Different situation. Different meanings. I'm so afraid I can't be enough for this new me.... & the new 'him'. I don't know if I've built myself back up enough to be ready for this. To start over and not make the same mistakes twice. But maybe, at the same time, this is exactly what I need. Someone to show me what "real love" really means.

Back to the norm

Back to school. Back to books. Back to routine. Back to lack-of-sleep. Back to more friend time than family time. Back to my tiny bed & sharing a room. I can say I'm happy to be back to my "norm".

Update since last time:
1. THE FRAY- Jan. 8.....3rd row.... hot opening drummer from Vedera (proof below)......we didn't hit any deer, so that's always a plus... I drank 2 of the biggest redbulls ever made & drove/danced our asses home at 2am (Jess will probably be mad if I don't tell everyone that she also drove 150 miles. hahahahaha)

(umm hello tasty?!)

2. I realized my hair REFUSES to be any color other than what God gave me. There's no chance in hell I'm gonna get that "darkest brown" I really really reallllllllly want. "Hello skunk stripes!"
3. Nothing feels better than lounging around in grippy socks & flannel pjs while at the same time exfoliating with a sexy face mask.
4. The new Nip/Tuck season has officially begun! SPOILER: Christian has breast cancer (wtf?) and Sean is stuck in a wheelchair (for good? dun dun dun.....). Hopefully that crazy foo' Colleen is dead fo' realz yo!!!!
5. I was violated. And don't really feel like explaining that one :P :P :P muahahahahaha

As for now, I'm ready for a weekend. Gotta work on that alcoholism. Hi mom!

Happy New Year!!

After one crazy night and a day full of sleeping, feelin like poo, & loungin' on the couch I would like to say that I have successfully celebrated "National Hangover Day" :P It's 2009!! Wow.. seems like just yesterday we were worrying about Y2K... and about what the Century Patriots were going to do for the 2010 graduating class? (ten, ten, ten, ten?) A whole new year that is guaranteed to be better than 2008. Another year older (21!!!) more opportunities to seek and experience, and another year of "second chances". I'm excited to start it out right by seeing the best band ever in exactly 1 week & can't wait to see my boy after that :) :D and go back "home" to Fargo.

I'm happy to see all the snow on the ground (maybe that is just because I can be inside writing a blog post next to the fireplace) but we haven't seen this much snow in YEARS! It makes me happy. (pish posh global warming). And I find it funny that we're running out of places to put all this plowed snow.

As for my last blog, and those you paid attention to it, all has been resolved & I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. IN ADDITION: took a little peeksy at my final grades and saw that my teacher decided to be SUPER SUPER SUPER nice and gave me an A in Anatomy & Physiology lab after all. Meaning I still have my 4.0... and if you don't know me all that well that is a HUGE DEAL for me! I'm planning on having a perma-grin for the next few days. So I have to say that this new year is starting out REAL well for me!

Happy happy happy new year to everyone. Let us all remember to not take one moment for granted, love with our whole hearts, right all our wrongs, and see that forgiveness is really the best gift you can give (and receive)

Bring it on two-oh-oh-nine!!!!!!!!!!