Post-Turkey Day

Back in Fargo. It's a lot chillier than I left it, but I'm definitely thankful for having less snow than Bismarck! Home was nice overall, I sure had a lot of time for thinking (to and by myself). Oh & BTW - I have to recommend the movie "Changeling" w/ Angelina Jolie. Good movie! And true story so I think that made it even better. The Fray's new single "You Found Me" is on iTunes!!! And if you're too cheap to buy a 99 cent song- you can go to http://thefray.net/ and listen to it there. I love it.. in a way, it kind of reminds me of myself and the tiny thought that crosses my mind every once in a great while.

Graduation Day. I get a card in the mail, not strange in any way, beings I had been getting cards for the past month for graduation. Except for one thing. The return address. My heart jumped and sank at the exact same moment. Why now? Why never before until 18 years later? Why when I was about to go through some of the biggest changes of my life? I read it. And read it again. You can't be serious?... So many things unsaid, so many questions left unanswered, and all you can say is that you're "proud of me, and hope we can keep in touch. Love, Dad". I thought to myself, "What can you possibly be proud of? You don't know me, anything about me. You have never known me, or even cared to." In complete shock, I wanted to cry, scream, yell, or rip up the card you had the nerve to send. It's a feeling no one can understand, unless you have been in the situation. It's one thing to have a father whom you've never met and have never contacted, and quite another to have a "father" who knew you for 2 years, knew where you have been all the years of your life, and still never put forth the effort. Usually, this doesn't bother me one bit. I have the greatest father in the whole wide world, and I am SO VERY thankful that he took me in and treated and loved me exactly as his own. He has in part made me who I am today, taught me how to laugh, how to love. I really could not ask for more.. But then there is always a part of me that just doesn't understand my real "father". How you could give up on a beautiful baby girl- let her slip away for all those years & then think you can miraculously enter back into her life. I'm angry at him. I am angry at his mother (my grandmother- who sent me Christmas & Birthday gifts as well as letters every once in awhile... Until I never wrote back to her son...) I am angry that she should ever think I should try to contact him. She'd send his address, and tell me how much we look alike. I had nothing to say to him, and I sure as hell didn't want to know I looked anything like the man who abandoned me. So now all I'm left with is a pink envelope containing a weak attempt at connection. It's addressed to me. From a man who never cared, ....or cared a little too late.

Good friends, good music, ...good deer?

Oh. My. Gosh. Milwaukee trip was a hit! Let us start the blog with a picture to invoke questions for many.

I hope you're thinking, "What the hell?" Much like I would be after seeing this lovely photograph. Let's start the story on

Thursday, November 20

Jess and I left Fargo, Minneapolis bound for the beginning of our Jason Mraz Milwaukee adventure. Two and a half hours later, we're jamming to The Fray talking about girly things, you know, the usual. All of a sudden BAM! We hit a deer. Not even hard enough to jolt us. I was speechless, and Jess being Jess was spewing profanities (haha okay, maybe just one). We pull over and proceed to check out the damage. Do I need to describe? [You can see for yourself above] We turn around and head for the nearest gas station to check for leaks and (hopefully) come across a man who looks like he knows SOMETHING, ANYTHING about cars. I look down towards the ground, and sure enough, she's leaking. Damn. Confused minutes, or hours, go by until we finally conclude that the radiator is cracked. There is no way in hell we're making it to Minneapolis tonight, let alone leaving the dinky town of Avon, Minnesota. *PAUSE IN THE STORY* Lady at the gas station calls husband to come check out the car. Apparently he's an ex-mechanic. He pulls up, takes a swig of his beer (yeah, I said SWIG OF HIS BEER. AS HE PULLED UP. IN A VEHICLE. THAT HE WAS DRIVING.) *BACK TO STORY* So we had no choice but to get a hotel. That was easy. There was only one hotel in the whole damn town.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Budget Host Inn. How creepy it was is a whole other story in itself. So, the lady at the convenience store gives us a number for the auto repair shop, and lets us know it won't be open until morning (8 a.m. that is). Remember, we needed to be in Milwaukee at the Eagles/Rave club by 7:30 p.m. So if you do the math, that means we needed to leave Avon by --AT THE LATEST-- 12:00 p.m. Not to mention stop in Minneapolis to pick of Laur. EEK! At this point in time, imagine Jess and I pacing room 110 of our 60 degree hotel room, trying to come up with any possible way to get outta that town and make it to to concert. Anything from Greyhound buses to Nick and Seth driving two cars to Avon to get us so we could be on our way. We were NOT going to miss the concert. We would wear the clothes on our backs. Teeth coated in fuzz, armpits stinky as ever, it didn't matter. After realizing there was nothing more we could do that night, we went to bed. Planning on getting up at 6:30 a.m. to call the repair shop and hopefully get in as soon as we could.

Friday, November 21

HALLELUJAH! They could get us in at exactly 8 a.m. Three hours, $640, new radiator, new fans, new headlight, two new Canadian Arab friends, and a whole new love of deer later, we were on the road again FINALLY. And it was 11:20 a.m.


(This is me 'killing' a deer while waiting at Avon Auto Repair; our newly made Arab friend in the background - I think his name was Jason.)

On with the story. We refused to stop to pee, eat, stretch our legs. NOTHING. After a near miss with a Mercedes, a sign, and almost having to call to get her a hair transplant, Jess got us to Laura's apartment where we pretty stopped, threw her stuff in, and got back on the interstate. A lot of driving later, we were in Milwaukee. Stuck in minor traffic. I had to pee. Real bad. We had about an hour and a half to get to the concert. We found our hotel easy enough; until they said it was the wrong hotel. Guhh. We went across the street, where they proceeded to tell us that they had overbooked. They sent us back over to the original hotel. Kill me. It was 6:20 p.m. Room 209. Opened the door and AHHHHHH, can't describe the emotions that come with the sight of a king-sized bed with down comforter, pull-out couch, flat screen TV, closet containing ROBES (yes, robes), 2 sinks, classy & fancy bathroom, and a SIX DOLLAR bottle of water (see facebook photos for evidence that I indeed did open, drink, and enjoy it). We were in heaven. After a few screams and jumps on the bed it was time to book it to the Rave. WE MADE IT! WE ACTUALLY MADE IT! All the stress, near tears, money, and hell we had been through was worth it. We were going to see Jason Mraz with not a second to spare. Aside from me almost having another Lollapalooza episode, it was an amazing time - amazing show! I was on cloud 9. Jess may or may not have had to go to the bathroom to 'clean herself up' (haha dirty, dirty girl). The rest of Friday night consisted of McDonalds (crappy speaker, poor service, one missing large fry, and the best meal ever), strange pictures, ONE alcoholic beverage, and the best night's sleep I've had in awhile (actually, I think it was the best night's sleep any of us had had in awhile).

Saturday, November 22
Wake up. Blah Blah Blah. We got Starbucks!!! Yay! I was a happy girl again. :) We went down to the shore of Lake Michigan (Jess took pictures of pigeons on the way there. Yeah, I know, right?), walked around and took pictures (and froze our tushies off). From there it was back to Minneapolis. Milwaukee treated us girls real well & I think I can speak for all of us when I say the trip was well needed & couldn't have been enjoyed ANY more (well.... subtract the mishap in Avon and we'll call that completely true). We arrived at Laura's apartment safely, without hitting any more deer & decided to go see Twilight. I rode a bus! And decided I never want to ride that thing alone : I had the laugh of my life at the movie (spoiler alert!) Wow, I didn't think movies could PURPOSELY be that horribly cheesy. Midnight-ish rolls around and we're on the bus again rollin' and hatin' back to Laur's apartment. We had the pleasure of chatting with a lady who claimed Jess and I looked like some guys she knows, and that she thinks a certain building looks like root beer barrels, "You know, the ones they sell at movie theaters. They're all yellow, orange and brown?" Yeah, okay lady.

Sunday, November 23
No more interesting events. Just more driving. Saying goodbye to our road trip and hello to three more days of school before Thanksgiving break. :) :) :)

..I guess now I can start my countdown for The Fray concert & yet another road trip. Hopefully our deer warned all the others.

tanorexia

Snow again! I'm happier about it this time around. Snow on November 17 is a little more legit. The semester is almost over! Eek! As my last hell-Wednesday "fast approaches" (in the words of Denley Jacobson) I'm overly excited to [hopefully] never have 3 major tests on the same day every 3 weeks. ..Also very excited for my new schedule which involves me only have to wake up early Tues/Thurs. Ahhh college ♥

Now onto the title of today's blog: tanorexia. Why? I'm not really sure if tanorexia includes being anorexic AND as orange as a construction cone, but I like the term anyways. It's winter. It's 26 degrees according to my computer.. Okay, Okay I DO have a history of using tanning beds but I have the great excuse of PROM. And even then, I can't recall ever being tan enough to turn heads. My cute little freckles would pop out, sure. But good god girls - I can't wait to see you in 15 years!!

$money, money$

As a roadtrip quickly approaches, I find myself thinking up many different ways to make some quick cash A.) to pay off my credit card bill before it skyrockets with all the JASON MRAZ merchandise I'm going to purchase and B.) 'cause I'm reallllly sick of being broke! I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to sell my soul............ (or plasma) to act as a second income. :( Boo, I'm finally realizing what "broke college student" means, and I don't even have to pay rent yet!! Maybe moving home this summer isn't looking too bad afterall....

TWILIGHT! Granted, I'm only on page 110, but I'm hooked. Look out Harry Potter (jk, I still love you the most!)

Missing home more by the day. Talked to my sweet incapable of pronouncing his "r's" little brother & am sad I'm not there to really watch him do his thing. Oh, and I guess I miss my parents and other brothers too ;) Thanksgiving is soon and my mouth has already begun watering. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Jingle Bells?

SNOW! Granted, it's like soft dust coating the grass.. but still, it is snow; and it is cold! I'm dreading the days I have to put on a sweater, fleece jacket, parka, boots, scarf, mittens, and pull up my hood just to walk 2 blocks to class :( Guhhh

We have Christmas cups at the Bucks. At the same time we're serving Thanksgiving blend? Why must Thanksgiving be so overlooked? EVERYONE loves the good food and fun that goes with Thanksgiving, so why start the countdown to Christmas so damn early? Sheesh, I just want some mashed potatos and pumpkin pie!

After the days of working at Penney's, I've really come to hate Christmas music. Starting November 1st, every department store and grocery store across the country is playing "Jingle Bells" Really? God help me if I don't lose my mind by December 25th.

Wed.Nes.Day.

I dislike Wednesdays. Obama won. People are ignorant, but God Bless America. November, November. CRAZY! Jason Mraz in about 2 weeks!!!!!!!!

I think it's silly how sometimes I find myself using spelling tricks I learned in elementary school. M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PP-I... or Wed-nes-day. It's a little embarassing, so thank God for unspoken thoughts.

On another note, I'd like to think I'm smart.. But lately I've been feeling really out of the loop. Why can't I ever remember what happened in a movie I saw last week? Or that actor's name I've seen a MILLION times? Why is it I can remember occipital condyles, Boyle's Law, and acetylcholine but not what I did this weekend.. or tell you the name of that popular song. I suck.

Monday

Skeletons and muscles are in the stars for me tonight but I'd like to think updating the blog and checking who put up new Halloween pictures on facebook is more important. Monday, Monday... it's been an interesting one. I'd rather not get into details but hopefully issues are resolved. I decided eating fastfood 4 times in 3 days is really disgusting and therefore refuse to eat it at least for the next 2 weeks.. we'll see how well that goes over.

I really miss home. I haven't been home in awhile and won't be until Thanksgiving. Weekends go by too fast here. I guess that means I'm having a good time, which is a whole hell of a lot more than what I can say for last year. On that note, I'm thankful for the people who came back into my life despite how horribly I treated them. I'm also thankful for the wonderful new people I've met.. and grown close to. I'm also thankful that things happen the way they do. Just when you think you know yourself and the ones around you- your world gets turned upside down. Why is it that people always want what's comfortable for them? There is no fear in change & you should always think you deserve the best even if that means leaving everything you know.

And so it begins

I have a blog. That's neat. I always thought blogs were a little on the corny side, but maybe having one will allow me to arrange all the thoughts in this crazy head of mine. Plus, do you know how cute I can make this??